Digressions from 27 months of Peace Corps in the Borderland.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

IN UKRAINE or "ooo, kray, een. ye"

holla holla. I've arrived! [insert a novel's worth of details and stories here that I don't have time to recount]

Every day is sooo crammed with language learning, technical training, lesson planning, bonding, cross-cultural training, community projects, and teaching projects.. a million, thousand things have happened in the week that I've been here. but I'm too pressed for time to back track. and honestly, I'm going cray-zay with sending individual e-mails. I end up writing and rewriting, telling and retelling the same stories over and over. and time is of an essence for the next three months if I'm going to master the Russian language before I'm shipped off to some remote area of Ukraine all on my lonesome. SO I'm making good on this blog. read it. cuz I refuse to continue writing a thousand emails in any spare second that I have. unless of course, your name happens to be, my mom.

For some reason, everyone is most concerned about the food in Ukraine. Like, come on yall. Please ask about how I'm doing before you ask about the food situation. It just makes me feel slightly more loved which I'm desparate to feel from you. but the 411: I'm not starving. Actually, I'm farrrr from starving. Generally, Ukrainian women like to force-feed their Americans. Luckily, my Mama is an exception. but I still feel her anxiety when I turn down a second plate of mashed potatoes. and POTATOES: everyday at every meal, I'm introduced to the 132970918324 ways to make a potatoe. I'm considering writing a cookbook for the education of unaware Americans on the many usages of the potatoe. and tea (aka chai) I have approximately 8 glasses of hot tea every day. which is rather unfortunate because it means that I have to encounter the toilet that much more often. the toilets aren't terrible or anything. Just an adjustment: of the nostrils, the leg placement, the squatting technique, and the disposal for used toilet paper and its many unusual venues or complete lack thereof. Every day with each new toilet experience, I amaze myself with my own previously undiscovered resourcefulness. After the cookbook I write about how to make a potatoe, I will be following it with a sequel on how to use a Turkish toilet and how to drink your tea.

MAYO- goes on everything. good thing mayo agrees with me. MILK- does not exist, neither does salad or any leafy greens except cabbage (and a ton of other things). but be assured, I have a sufficient amount of tomatoes, red peppers, and ONIONS to cover for my daily veggie requirements. I eat raw onions all the time. The past few days, I've felt a little dillusional and have woken up in a drenching-sweat during the middle of the night. which I think is a result of many things including slight dehydration which I'm not sure why that is due to my vast intake of tea and coffee (although they are diarrheatics). soo I'm beginning to wonder if the old Anglo-Saxons' superstition that onions were mildly poisionous doesn't hold some truth? I mean these onions are unlike anything I've ever encountered in Virginia. One bite of these onions is like taking a double-shot of vodka. it. will. KICK. you. it lingers and it burns, makes the eyes water and your stomach flip, you still feel it churning in your stomach the next morning and even through out the entire next day, but it is surprisingly addicting. and since my host mom insists that I should eat them "for my health", I'm popping slices of onions like I drink my tea.

Other than those few and always blossoming rather significant changes to my diet. A regular eating schedule is IMPOSSIBLE to come by. I experience bouts of overstuffing followed by hours and hours of fasting. and then meals just come out of nowhere. My motto is to eat when I can b/c only GOD KNOWS when the next meal will be. but don't be alarmed, I'm never actually starving. and I do have 3 meals/day, but at very odd and irregular hous. It's Just my metabolism which is severely suffering. due to the lack of consistency, my confused body doesn't know whether to hoard calories or burn them. LUCKILY, along with so many other lucky things- I have an outdoor track right near my family's apartment. and it is well-used by me and my host-sister. Depending on how dehydrated/exhuasted I feel, we either jog or walk or mix the two for about 3-5 miles/day.

and when I'm not running around the track, I'm running from the stray dogs that are in an over-abundance on the streets in Boguslav. These street dogs aren't necessarily harmful or especially dangerous. They just appear out of nowhere when I'm least expecting it. like when I'm bending down to tie my shoe and then all of a sudden, I look up to find some mongrel staring deeply into my eyes. It scares the living BEjeeezusss out of me. much to the other volunteers' and my host sister's amusement, it never fails to make me shriek/ jump/ or sometimes run away depending on how seemingly ferocious the dog looks to me.

there is always more to say about food... but I'm done with that subject for now.

On Tuesday, I will be teaching my first class!!!!!!!! I will be teaching 3rd graders about sports and hobbies. I've considered just taking them outside and making them run the track because, after observing their class yesterday, I feel that they have too much energy that needs to be exhausted. but that would be "cheating" on my part. So I will be using every millisecond of my entire weekend to prepare the most AMAZING lesson plan for them. I'll have them so engaged that the little boys won't have the chance to even think about pulling the little girls' ponytails that sit in front of them. At least, that's the plan. BUT I'm a little nervous and a little unsure how this lesson is actually going to work. the kids speak Ukrainian and I "speak" Russian- at least, that's what I'm learning. I CAN ONLY COMMUNICATE WITH THEM IN ENGLISH. and since this is their first year learning English and school has only been in session for two months, their English is VERY limited. soooo hopefully in the midst of our tremendous language barrier, God will come to me during my next night of fitful sleep and englighten me on how to reach these youngsters. If I do it right, I should have them eating out of the palm of my hand. For most of them, I am the first authentic American that they have ever seen and they're really eager to please and impress me. Hopefully, I won't disappoint.

and another added challenge: this is my first lesson EVER. for our first lesson, the volunteers were supposed to team teach. Since there are five people in my cluster, I got volunteered to teach alone. yikkess. but I welcome the practice. in a few short months, we'll all be teaching alone anyway.

and I love the people. always an added bonus to any good story for they are as irreguluar (in a good way), intoxicating, and consuming as all of the food and my studies.

XOXO,
W

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